Friday, January 02, 2009

We are Rainbow Warriorrs, evil come not near...

Happy frigging New Year, everybody. Hope your extra second that they added to Time just before the new year rolled in was an absolute blast, that you kissed the nearest extremely attractive stranger, and in that tiny second of sharing your oral cavity and everything inside it and fulfilling your single common interest at that moment, your hearts burst open and you realised you have found your soul mate and you ran off together hand in hand into the golden glow of the morning sun rising, or a fire caused by misuse of fireworks, to make lots of babies and get married a zillion times over on various different beaches in the Mediterranean, each one better than the last, and the extremely attractive stranger had a trust fund worth an entire city so you can spend the rest of your days rolling around in fields of sunflowers and picking up interesting looking shells outside your beach front mansion that you only use when that horrid man next door hosts his awful week-long garden parties.

As much as I could wish that upon anybody, you probly spent New Year's like everyone else, too drunk to realise that it's anything significant and stuck in your happy place till dinner comes rolling back up again and finds itself in the nearest very thorny bush. I myself did neither of those things, for which I guess I should be glad.

Anyway, you have 2 options now. The first is what I call the "Oops, Forgive My Amnesia/Lack Of Caring" option. You can use this fresh and still clean smelling year to make amends for, cover up, or else just plain forget anything that you might need to- things you would be quite happy to see the back of, for instance. Wave bye bye and cheerio, now let's all have a nice hot cuppa tea before we catch cold. Or there is the "Come Here You Nasty Piece Of Work, You Feisty Beast" option. And that, dear friends, is pretty much self explanatory (who else LOVES that phrase?? I love saying it, it just tumbles out of the mouth so full of grace and ease like silk scarves out of magician's hat) but for those still affected by excess revelling, it means you take the bull by the horns and DON'T see the new year as a convenient excuse to turn your back on things left unconcluded, rather you see it as finally a hefty push towards getting your A into G and sorting shit out, so it won't follow you around like a ball and chain dragging you down into the depths of "Did you ever sort that thing out?? You know, when you did ______ with _____ last year".
So those are your basic options. As for me, I choose what I call simply "Option C". Sit there staring at the ball and chain, hating its weight and clanking, but slightly fond of the old girl as you've grown used to the company; scratching your head and neither turning your back and walking away pretending you can't hear it following, nor walking towards it with a hefty pair of industrial-strength chain cutters. Just sitting and staring and thinking "Hmmmm. What the fuck am I gunna do about this then aye".